Ads That Don’t Quite Work

  • Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.
  • Dinner Special — Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.
  • For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.
  • Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.
  • No matter what your topcoat is made of, this miracle spray will make it really repellent.
  • Great Dames for sale.
  • Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.
  • Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it!
  • Mt. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge. Swim in the lovely pool while you drink it all in.
  • Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else.
  • Stock up and save. Limit: one.
  • Save regularly in our bank. You’ll never reget it.
  • Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!
  • Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.
  • Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you’ll never go anywhere else again.
  • Wanted: Preparer of food. Must be dependable, like the food business, and be willing to get hands dirty.
  • Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross and salary.
  • Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.
  • Mother’s helper–peasant working conditions.
  • Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale.
  • And now, the Superstore–unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.

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