“Life’s under no obligation to give us what we expect.” – Margaret Mitchell
I’m Going to Have a Wife
At Sunday school they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Tommy, a child in the kindergarten class, seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam’s ribs.
Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and asked, “Tommy, what’s the matter?” Little Tommy responded, “I have a pain in my side. I think I’m gonna have a wife.”
The Preacher’s Golf Game
A certain preacher awoke to perfect golfing weather one Sunday morning. It had been either cold, raining, or too windy for a couple of months and, as he thought it over, the temptation was just too great.
He called up one of his deacons and told him, “You all are going to have to cover for me today. I have to go out of town on urgent business.” He felt a little bit guilty as he drove to another town, but the birds were singing, the sun was shining, the sky was bright blue, there was no wind at all, and the temperature was just perfect, so he found ways to justify his absence “just this once.”
As he stepped up to the first tee, St. Peter said to the Lord, “Look. Isn’t that one of your men on that golf course? And on a Sunday?” The Lord said, “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of him.”
The preacher hit a perfect drive, in fact the best he’d ever hit in his life. It soared about 250 yards, bounced twice, hit the green, and rolled right into the cup! St. Peter looked at the Lord, but he didn’t say anything. The preacher was ecstatic as he quickly teed up for the second hole, where his shot was just as good. He’d made another hole in one — the second one in his life!
At that St. Peter turned to the Lord, “I thought you said you would take care of him,” he asked. “I did,” answered the Lord. “Who’s he going to tell?”