You’ve heard of Murphy’s famous Law: Everything that can go wrong will go wrong. Well, there are many other related Laws. Here are some:
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
–Lorenz’s Law of Mechanical Repair
Identical parts aren’t.
–Beach’s Law
Any tool, when dropped, will roll into the least accessible corner.
–Anthony’s Law of the Workshop
Nothing is as inevitable as a mistake whose time has come.
–Tussman’s Law
If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.
–Lowery’s Law
The solution to a problem changes the problem.
–Peer’s Law
There is no mechanical problem so difficult that it cannot be solved by brute strength and ignorance.
–William’s Law
Handy Guide to Modern Science:
1. If it’s green or it wiggles, it’s Biology.
2. If it stinks, it’s Chemistry.
3. If it doesn’t work, it’s Physics.
Machines should work. People should think.
–IBM’s Pollyanna Principle:
The most ineffective workers will be systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage – management.
–The Dilbert Principle
The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.
–Ehrlich’s Law
It is a mistake to allow any mechanical object to realize that you are in a hurry.
–Ralph’s Observation
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.
–Cannon’s Comment
Thinly sliced cabbage.
–Cole’s Law
A young man was sitting next to me in one of the two “husband chairs” in a ladies’ clothing store. After 30 minutes and five outfits, the fellow’s wife came out of the change room again.
He looked at her and immediately said: “That looks good on you. Get that one.”
“Honey,” she replied, “this is what I was wearing when we came in.”