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Meaningful Conversation

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A farmer walked into an attorney’s office wanting to file for a divorce.

The attorney asked, “May I help you?” The farmer said, “Yea, I want to get one of those dayvorces.”

The attorney said, “Well, do you have any grounds?” The farmer said, “Yea, I got about 140 acres.”

The attorney said, “No, you don’t understand, do you have a case?” The farmer said, “No, I don’t have a Case, but I have a John Deere.”

The attorney said, “No, you don’t understand. I mean do you have a grudge?” The farmer said, “Yea, I got a grudge. That’s where I park my John Deere.”

The attorney said, “No sir, I mean do you have a suit?” The farmer said, “Yes sir, I got a suit. I wear it to church on Sundays.”

The exasperated attorney said, “Well, sir, does your wife beat you up or anything?” The farmer said, “No sir, we both get up about 4:30.”

Finally, the attorney says, “Okay, let me put it this way. WHY DO YOU WANT A DIVORCE?” And the farmer said, “Well, I can never have a meaningful conversation with her.”

Originally posted 2016-06-07 12:55:03.

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Falling On My Face

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While walking through a parking lot, I tripped and fell flat on my face. As I was lying there, a woman stopped her car and called out, “Are you hurt?”

“No, I’m fine,” I said.

“Oh, good,” she continued. “Will you be vacating your parking space now?”

Originally posted 2016-10-04 19:10:53.

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