Unfortunate Last Words

What does this button do? It’s probably just a rash. Are you sure the power is off? Yeah, I made the deciding vote on the jury, so what of it? The odds of that happening have to be a million to one! Pull the pin and count to what? Which wire was I supposed to...

The New Librarian

The new Librarian decided that instead of checking out children’s books by writing the names of borrowers on the book cards herself, she would have the youngsters sign their own names. She would then tell them they were signing a ‘Contract’ for...

Rooted, Yet Flexible

Trees look strong compared with the wild reeds in the field. But when the storm comes the trees are uprooted, whereas the wild reeds, while moved back and forth by the wind, remain rooted and stand up again after the storm has calmed down. Flexibility is a great...

Getting Old

A group of senior citizens were sitting around talking about their ailments: “My arms are so weak I can hardly hold this cup of coffee,” said one. “Yes, I know. My cataracts are so bad I can’t even see my coffee,” replied another....

What Kind of Tracks Are Those?

Three goofballs were walking in the country one day. They saw a set of tracks and started arguing over what kind of tracks they were. The first goofball said, “I think they’re deer tracks!” The second goofball said, “I think they’re dog...

Praying for a Baby Brother

A little boy told his Dad he wanted a baby brother. His Dad smiled and suggested he pray for one. The boy prayed earnestly, night after night, but after a couple of weeks with no baby brother, he didn’t bother to ask anymore. A few months later, Dad said Mom was...

Good Morning God

Good Morning God! You are ushering in another day, untouched and freshly new. So here I am to ask you, God, if You’ll renew me too. Forgive the many errors that I made yesterday, and let me try again dear God to walk closer in Your way. But Lord, I am well...

I’m Not Going to Church

One Sunday morning, a mother went in to wake her son and tell him it was time to get ready for church, to which he replied, “I’m not going.” “Why not?” she asked. I’ll give you two good reasons,” he said. “One, they...

I’m Going to Have a Wife

At Sunday school they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Tommy, a child in the kindergarten class, seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam’s ribs. Later in the week his mother...

The Preacher’s Golf Game

A certain preacher awoke to perfect golfing weather one Sunday morning. It had been either cold, raining, or too windy for a couple of months and, as he thought it over, the temptation was just too great. He called up one of his deacons and told him, “You all...