Christmas One-Liners
What do you call a blind reindeer? I have no eye deer. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite. What do you call an elf that can sing and dance? Elfis. How do sheep … Continue reading →
Category Archives: Thought Provokers
Worker Ants
The teacher was giving her class of seven-year-olds a natural-history lesson. “Worker ants,” she told them, “can carry pieces of food five times their own weight. What do you conclude from that?” One child was ready with the answer: “They … Continue reading →
Lesser Known Laws
You’ve heard of Murphy’s famous Law: Everything that can go wrong will go wrong. Well, there are many other related Laws. Here are some: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch. –Lorenz’s Law of … Continue reading →
Clothes Shopping
A young man was sitting next to me in one of the two “husband chairs” in a ladies’ clothing store. After 30 minutes and five outfits, the fellow’s wife came out of the change room again. He looked at her … Continue reading →
Everyday Thanksgiving
Even though I huddle in my bed and put off rising, thank you Lord, that I have the strength to rise. There are many who are bedridden. Even though the first hour of my day is hectic, when socks are … Continue reading →
Never Give Up
This person: Was born in 1809. Failed in business in 1831. Lost election for state legislature in 1832. Failed again in business in 1834. Suffered through his sweetheart dying in 1835. Had a Nervous breakdown in 1836. Lost second political … Continue reading →
The Lost Purse
A lady lost her handbag in the bustle of Christmas shopping. It was found by an honest little boy and returned to her. Looking in her purse, she commented, “Hmmm – That’s funny. When I lost my bag there was … Continue reading →
You’ll Find Jesus There
“Tomorrow morning,” the surgeon began, “I’ll open up your heart.” “You’ll find Jesus there,” the boy interrupted. The surgeon looked up, annoyed. “I’ll cut your heart open,” he continued, “to see how much damage has been done.” “But when you … Continue reading →
Learn Their Name
During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions until I read the last one: “What is the first name of the woman who cleans … Continue reading →
The Computer Alternative – The Etch-A-Sketch
Since our Information Technology expenditures have risen dramatically, the corporate office has defined a low-cost alternative to computers. The goal is to remove all computers by next year. Instead everyone will be provided with an Etch-A-Sketch. There are many sound … Continue reading →