“An untabled faith is an unstable faith.” – Leonard Sweet
Kids and Family
107 posts
A wise old gentleman retired and purchased a modest home near a junior high school. He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace and contentment. Then a new school year began. The very next afternoon three young boys full of youthful after-school enthusiasm came down his street beating merrily on every trash can they encountered. The crashing percussion continued day after day, until finally the wise old man decided it was time to take some action. The next afternoon, he walked out to meet the young percussionists as they banged their way down the street. Stopping them, he said, “You kids are a lot of fun. I like to see you express your exuberance like that. I used to do the same thing when I was your age. Will you do me a favor? I’ll give you each a dollar if you’ll promise to come around every day and do your thing.” The kids were elated and continued to do a bang-up job on the trash cans. A few days later, the wily retiree approached them again as they drummed their way down the street. “Look” he said, “I haven’t received my Social Security (Pension) check yet, so I’m not going to be able to give you more than 25 cents. Will that be okay?” “A lousy quarter?” the drum leader exclaimed. “If you think we’re going to waste our time beating these cans around for a quarter, you’re nuts! No way, mister. We quit!” And the old man enjoyed peace and serenity for the rest of his days.
One day, as I was trying to pack for vacation, my 3-year-old daughter was having a wonderful time playing on the bed. At one point, she said, “Mom, look at this,” and stuck out two of her fingers. Trying to keep her entertained, I reached out and stuck her fingers in my mouth and said, “Mommy gonna eat your fingers!” pretending to eat them before I rushed out of the room again. When I returned, my daughter was standing on the bed staring at her fingers with a devastated look on her face. I said, “What’s wrong honey?” “Mommy, where’s my booger?”
“It was different when we were kids. In second grade, a teacher came in and gave us all a lecture about not smoking, and then they sent us over to arts and crafts to make ashtrays for Mother’s Day.” – Paul Clay
A 10-year-old, under the tutelage of her grandmother, was becoming quite knowledgeable about the Bible. Then one day she floored her grandmother by asking, “Which Virgin was the mother of Jesus: the Virgin Mary or the King James Virgin?”
A little girl to her father – “Daddy, before you married Mommy, who told you how to drive?”
The Reverend Billy Graham tells of a time early in his ministry when he arrived in a small town to preach a sermon. Wanting to mail a letter, he asked a young boy where the post office was. When the boy had told him, Dr. Graham thanked him and said, “If you’ll come to the Baptist church this evening, you can hear me telling everyone how to get to heaven.” “I don’t think I’ll be there,” the boy said. “You don’t even know your way to the post office.”
“You never teach a subject; you always teach a child.” – Dorothy Height
How do Mathematicians scold their children? They say, “If I told you n times, I’ve told you n+1 times…”
Several years ago a mother gave her son two quarters. One was for his Sunday School offering. The other was for an ice cream cone on the way home from Sunday School. One Sunday, Billy was flipping a quarter in the air and catching it on the way down. One time, the quarter flipped into the air, but Billy missed catching it. It rolled down the storm sewer and was gone. Billy looked skyward and prayed, “Sorry God, that was your quarter.”
A little boy wanted $100 badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened. Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100. When the postal authorities received the letter to God, they decided to send it to the President. The president was so impressed that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5 bill, figuring this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy. The little boy was delighted with the $5 bill and sat down to write a thank-you note to God, which read: “Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you sent it through Washington, D.C., and the government deducted $95 in taxes.”
My teenager was headed to school one morning when I told him that the neck tag on his shirt was hanging out. “I know,” he replied. “It’s a fad me and some of the guys started.” Weeks later, as the style persisted, I commented, “I can’t stand it! Every time I see that, I want to fix it for you.” I gently tucked the tag in place and rumpled his hair. “Yeah,” he said smiling slyly. “All the girls do.”