“Tomorrow morning,” the surgeon began, “I’ll open up your heart.” “You’ll find Jesus there,” the boy interrupted. The surgeon looked up, annoyed. “I’ll cut your heart open,” he continued, “to see how much damage has been done.” “But when you … Continue reading →
A 4-year-old was brought to the Emergency Room with a severe cough. She kept up a non-stop conversation while the nurse was trying to assess her lung sounds. Finally, the nurse said, “Shhh, I have to see if Barney is … Continue reading →
A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of his dreams. Now what should he do? His mother had an idea: “Why don’t you send her flowers, and on the card invite … Continue reading →
My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. “If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.” My mother taught me RELIGION. “You’d better pray that will come out of the carpet.” My … Continue reading →
A little boy was caught swearing by his teacher. “Jeffrey,” she said, “you shouldn’t use that kind of language. Where did you hear it?” “My daddy said it,” he responded. “Well, it doesn’t matter,” explained the teacher, “you don’t even … Continue reading →
A three-year-old opened the birthday gift from his grandmother and discovered it was a water pistol. He shouted with delight and headed for the nearest sink. His mother was not so pleased. She turned to her mother and said, “I’m … Continue reading →