A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn’t find one big enough for her family.
She asked the stock boy, “Do these turkeys get any bigger?” The stock boy answered, “No ma’am, they’re dead.”
A Thought About Marriage
A man was in his usual place in the morning, sitting at the table, reading the paper after breakfast.
He came across an article about a beautiful actress who was about to marry a football player. The player was known primarily for his lack of IQ, common sense, and good looks.
He turned to his wife: “You know, I’ll never understand why the biggest, ugliest jerks always get the most attractive wives.”
His wife replied, “Why thank you, dear!”
Kid’s Praying
Overheard Kid’s Prayers:
3-year-old little boy: “Our Father, Who does art in heaven, Harold is His name. Amen.”
Another little boy was overheard praying: “Lord, if you can’t make me a better boy, don’t worry about it. I’m having a real good time like I am.”
One particular four-year-old prayed: “And forgive us our trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets.”
Stop Trying to be Happy
Quiet Minds
We’re All Pretty Lame
Thoughts, Feelings, Actions
Fair Treatment in the World
Newspaper Bloopers
Dr. Benjamin Porter visited the school yesterday and lectured on “Destructive Pests.” A large number were present.
The sewer expansion project is nearing completion but City officials are holding their breath until it is officially finished.
The ladies of the county medical society auxiliary plan to publish a cookbook. Part of the money will go to the Samaritan Hospital to purchase a stomach pump.
Columbia, Tennessee, which calls itself the largest outdoor mule market in the world, held a mule parade yesterday headed by the Governor.
The assembly passed and sent to the senate a bill requiring dog owners in New York City to clean up after their dogs, in penalty of $100 fine. The bill also applies to Buffalo.
The attorney general’s office said yesterday that an autopsy performed on the headless body of a man found in Mason failed to determine the cause of death.
The bride-elect was showered with pieces of her chosen china.
Weather: Sunny with a few cloudy periods today and Thursday, which will be followed by Friday.
The women included their husbands and their children in their potluck suppers.
The bride was wearing an old lace gown that fell to the floor as she came down the aisle.