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Inspiration and Encouragement | Keep Your Cool | Live on Fire | Fuel the Flame

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2,600+ inspiring quotes, stories and more - Keep Your Cool | Live on Fire | Fuel Your Flame
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The $2.99 Special

Tauntisms.com - Inspiration and Encouragement | Keep Your Cool | Live on Fire | Fuel the Flame Posted on June 11, 2020 by GregJune 11, 2020

We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the ‘seniors’ special’ was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $2.99. ‘Sounds good,’ my wife said. ‘But I don’t want the eggs.’ ‘Then, I’ll have to charge you three dollars and forty-nine cents because you’re ordering a la carte,’ the waitress warned her.

‘You mean I’d have to pay for not taking the eggs?’ my wife asked incredulously. ‘YES!!’ stated the waitress. ‘I’ll take the special then,’ my wife said. ‘How do you want your eggs?’ the waitress asked. ‘Raw and in the shell,’ my wife replied. She took the two eggs home and baked a cake.

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Posted in Thought Provokers | Tagged Life

The Squeeze

Tauntisms.com - Inspiration and Encouragement | Keep Your Cool | Live on Fire | Fuel the Flame Posted on June 11, 2020 by GregJune 11, 2020

The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet: The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out of the lemon would win the money.

Many people had tried over time (professional wrestlers, longshoremen, etc.), but nobody could do it.

One day this scrawny little man came in, wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit, and said in a tiny, squeaky voice, “I’d like to try the bet.”

After the laughter had died down, the bartender agreed, grabbed a lemon, and squeezed away. Then he handed the dried, wrinkled remains of the rind to the little man.

But the crowd’s laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and SIX drops fell into the glass.

As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the $1000, and asked the little man, “What do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weight lifter, or what?”

The man replied, “I work for the IRS.”

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Posted in Thought Provokers | Tagged Career and Work, Life, Politics and Patriotism

Viewing the World

Tauntisms.com - Inspiration and Encouragement | Keep Your Cool | Live on Fire | Fuel the Flame Posted on June 10, 2020 by GregJune 10, 2020

“One must view the world through the eye in one’s heart rather than just trust the eyes in one’s head.” – Mary Crow Dog

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Posted in The Book of Taunt | Tagged Heart and Caring, Mind and Attitude

Starting School

Tauntisms.com - Inspiration and Encouragement | Keep Your Cool | Live on Fire | Fuel the Flame Posted on June 10, 2020 by GregJune 10, 2020

Tommy had reached school age. His mother managed with a blast of propaganda to make him enthusiastic about the idea. She bought him lots of new clothes, told him of the new friends he’d meet and so on.

On the first day, he eagerly went off and came back home with a lot of glowing reports about school.

The next morning when she woke him up, he asked “Why did you wake me up?” She told him it was time to get ready for school.

“What? Again?” he asked.

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Posted in Thought Provokers | Tagged Education, Kids and Family

Living Fully in the Present

Tauntisms.com - Inspiration and Encouragement | Keep Your Cool | Live on Fire | Fuel the Flame Posted on June 9, 2020 by GregJune 9, 2020

“We do not heal the past by dwelling there; we heal the past by living fully in the present.” – Marianne Williamson

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Posted in The Book of Taunt | Tagged Life

A Short Quiz

Tauntisms.com - Inspiration and Encouragement | Keep Your Cool | Live on Fire | Fuel the Flame Posted on June 9, 2020 by GregJune 9, 2020

Arnold Schwartzenegger has a big one.

Michael J. Fox has a small one.

Madonna doesn’t have one.

The Pope has one, but doesn’t use his.

Bill Clinton uses his all the time.

Mickey Mouse has an unusual one.

George Burns’ was hot.

Liberace never used his on women.

Jerry Seinfeld is very, very proud of his.

We never saw Lucy use Desi’s.

What is it?

 

 

 

 

ANSWER: A Last Name

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Posted in Thought Provokers | Tagged Fun and Games

What They are Built For

Tauntisms.com - Inspiration and Encouragement | Keep Your Cool | Live on Fire | Fuel the Flame Posted on June 8, 2020 by GregJune 8, 2020

“When a great ship is in harbor and moored [or anchored], it is safe, there can be no doubt. But…that is not what great ships are built for.” – Clarissa Pinkola Estés

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Posted in The Book of Taunt | Tagged Choices and Decisions, Purpose

Ambition and Persistence

Tauntisms.com - Inspiration and Encouragement | Keep Your Cool | Live on Fire | Fuel the Flame Posted on June 8, 2020 by GregJune 8, 2020

“Ambition is the path to success. Persistence is the vehicle you arrive in.” – Bill Bradley

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Posted in The Book of Taunt | Tagged Career and Work, Choices and Decisions, Leadership, Success and Failure

God’s Will for My Life

Tauntisms.com - Inspiration and Encouragement | Keep Your Cool | Live on Fire | Fuel the Flame Posted on June 7, 2020 by GregJune 5, 2024

“God’s will for my life is likely where my greatest passion meets the world’s greatest need.”

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Posted in The Book of Taunt | Tagged Life, Soul and Christianity

Before I Was a Mom

Tauntisms.com - Inspiration and Encouragement | Keep Your Cool | Live on Fire | Fuel the Flame Posted on June 7, 2020 by GregJune 7, 2020

Before I was a Mom, I made and ate hot meals. I had unstained clothing. I had quiet conversations on the phone.

Before I was a Mom, I slept as late as I wanted and never worried about how late I got into bed. I brushed my hair and my teeth everyday.

Before I was Mom, I cleaned my house each day. I never tripped over toys or forgot words to lullabies.

Before I was a Mom, I didn’t worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom, I had never been puked on, pooped on, spit on, chewed on, peed on, or pinched by tiny fingers.

Before I was a Mom, I had complete control of my mind, my thoughts, my body, and my time. I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom, I never held down a screaming child so that doctors could do tests or give shots. I never looked into teary eyes and cried. I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom, I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn’t want to put it down. I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn’t stop the hurt. I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. I never knew that I could love someone so much. I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom, I didn’t know the feeling of having my heart outside my body. I didn’t know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. I didn’t know that bond between a Mother and her child. I didn’t know that something so small could make me feel so important.

Before I was a Mom, I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay. I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonder, the fulfillment, or the satisfaction of being a Mom. I didn’t know I was capable of feeling so much before I was a Mom.

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Posted in Thought Provokers | Tagged Kids and Family, Thanksgiving and Gratitude

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