“Keep your lenses clear. Successful people perceive the world neither through pink lenses nor gray ones. They prefer clear lenses that portray the world as it is because that’s the world they must deal with. If you’re looking at a gray reality, don’t despair. Just shift your attention to another part of the picture. There’s a bright side to almost every situation. Find it and focus on it.” – Nido Qubein
Needing More Knowledge
Have Patience With Yourself
Be Honest With Yourself First
Leap High
Prepare to be Wrong
Lawyers and Their Questions
Lawyers aren’t typically funny–unless by accident. Case in point: The following questions from lawyers were taken from official records nationwide:
Was that the same nose you broke as a child?
Now, doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn’t know anything about it until the next morning?
Q: What happened then?
A: He told me, he says, ‘I have to kill you because you can identify me.’
Q: Did he kill you?
Was it you or your brother that was killed in the war?
The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
Were you alone or by yourself?
How long have you been a French Canadian?
Do you have children or anything of that kind?
Q: I show you exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture?
A: That’s me.
Q: Were you present when that picture was taken?
Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?
Q: Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
Q: Do you know how far pregnant you are now?
A: I’ll be three months on November 8.
Q: Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8?
A: Yes
Q: What were you doing at the time?
Q: Mrs. Jones, do you believe you are emotionally stable?
A: I used to be.
Q: How many times have you committed suicide?
So you were gone until you returned?
Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None
Q: Were there girls?
You don’t know what it was, and you don’t know what it looked like, but can you describe it?
Q: You say that the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?
Q: Have you lived in this town all your life?
A: Not yet.
A Texas attorney, realizing he was on the verge of unleashing a stupid question, interrupted himself and said, “Your Honor, I’d like to strike the next question.”
Q: Do you recall approximately the time that you examined the body of Mr. Edington at the Rose Chapel?
A: It was in the evening. The autopsy started about 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Edington was dead at the time, is that correct?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy!
Cultivate Your Garden
The Ice Cream Sundae Tip
In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10-year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him. “How much is an ice cream sundae?” he asked.
“Fifty cents,” replied the waitress. The little boy pulled hand out of his pocket and studied the coins in it. “Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?” he inquired. By now more people were waiting for a table and the waitress was growing impatient.
“Thirty-five cents,” she brusquely replied. The little boy again counted his coins. “I’ll have the plain ice cream,” he said. The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away. The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and left.
When the waitress came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the table. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five pennies…
You see, he couldn’t have the sundae, because he had to have enough left to leave her a tip.