“The best thing about the future is that it comes only one day at a time.” – Abraham Lincoln
Only in America
- Only in America can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
- Only in America are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
- Only in America do stores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
- Only in America do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, a candy bar and a Diet Coke.
- Only in America do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
- Only in America do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
- Only in America do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won’t miss a call from someone we didn’t want to talk to in the first place.
- Only in America do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
- Only in America do we use the word ‘politics’ to describe the process so well: ‘Poli’ in Latin meaning ‘many’ and ‘tics’ meaning ‘bloodsucking creatures’.
- Only in America do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.