“It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.” – Albert Einstein
“Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them?” – Abraham Lincoln
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women’s locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover.
The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, “What’s the matter? Haven’t you ever seen a little boy before?”
“You have to give 100 percent in the first half of the game. If that isn’t enough, in the second half, you have to give what’s left.” -Yogi Berra
“If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door.” – Adrienne Gusoff
“Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister and now wish to withdraw that statement.” – Mark Twain
“I am only one, but I am one. I can’t do everything, but I can do something. And what I can do, that I ought to do. And what I ought to do, by the grace of God, I will do.” – Edward Everett Hale
Someone gave a speech this week about how his faith is “important” to him.
In this attempt to convince the American people that we should consider him for president, he announced that his favorite Bible verse is John 16:3. Of course, the speech writer meant John 3:16 (“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” – NIV), but nobody was familiar enough with Scripture to catch the error.
Do you know what John 16:3 really says?
“They will do such things because they have not known the Father or me.”
*Note: This error is typically blamed on politicians, but as far as I know, has never been proven. I include it here as ironic fiction.
“Being a friend means mastering the art of timing. There is a time for silence. And a time to let go and allow people to hurl themselves into their own history. And a time to pick up the pieces when it’s all over.” – Gloria Naylor
You often stress attendance at worship as being very important for a Christian, but I think a person has a right to miss now and then. I think every person ought to be excused for the following reasons and the number of times indicated:
- Christmas (Sunday before or after)
- New Year (Party lasted too long)
- Easter (Get away for holidays)
- July 4 (National holiday)
- Labor Day (Need to get away)
- Memorial Day (Visit hometown)
- School Closing (Kids need break)
- School Opens (One last fling)
- Family Reunions (Mine & wife’s)
- Sleep late (Saturday night parties)
- Deaths in Family
- Sickness (One per family member)
- Business Trips (A must)
- Vacation (Three weeks)
- Bad Weather (Ice, snow, rain, clouds, heat wave)
- Ball games
- Unexpected Company (Can’t walk out)
- Time changes (Spring ahead; fall back)
- Special on TV (Super Bowl, etc.)
Pastor, that leaves only two Sundays per year. So, you can count on us to be in church on the fourth Sunday in February and the third Sunday in August unless providentially hindered.
A Faithful Member