I’ve been working hard lately. I thought you might like to know what I’ve been up to.

I got a job at an orange juice factory, but I couldn’t concentrate, so I got canned.

Then I worked in the woods as a lumber jack, but I just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the axe.

After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn’t suited for it – mainly because it was a so-so job.

Next, I tried working at the muffler shop, but that was just exhausting!

I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn’t cut it.

Then I tried being a chef – figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn’t have the thyme.

I attempted to work at the deli, but any way I sliced it, I couldn’t cut the mustard.

I studied a long time and became a doctor, then found out that I didn’t have the patients.

Shortly after that I found a job at the shoe factory. I tried, but I didn’t have the sole for it, besides, I just didn’t fit in.

One day I tried selling velcro, but couldn’t stick with it!

They suggested I try professional fishing, but soon discovered that I couldn’t live on my net income.

After training to be a fireman, I suffered from job burn out.

I did manage to get a good job with a pool maintenance company, but the work was too draining.

I applied for a job at the zoo feeding the giraffes, but they said that I wasn’t up to it.

So then I applied at the gym, They said I wasn’t fit for it. Go figure??

I did get the job as the county historian. Then I realized that there was no future in it.

Someone suggested I look into becoming a transplant surgeon, but my heart just wasn’t in it.

A tennis instructor would have been fun, but it wasn’t my racket. I way too high strung.

Spent some time farming, but I wasn’t out standing in my field.

Looked into becoming a pilot, but they said I had a bad altitude.

So, now I’ve retired and found that I’m a perfect fit for this job.

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