As You Think, So You Live...
- At lunch time, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
- Page yourself over the intercom. (Don’t disguise your voice.)
- Insist that your e-mail address is Xenafirstname.lastname@example.org or Elvis-the-King @companyname.com.
- Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
- Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing.
- Put your garbage can on your desk and label it “IN.”
- Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
- Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
- Reply to everything someone says with, “That’s what you think.”
- Finish all your sentences with, “…in accordance with the prophecy.”
- Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire work area. Insist to others that you like it that way.
- Dont use any punctuation
- As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
- Specify that your drive-through order is “to go.”
- Sing along at the opera.
- Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don’t rhyme.
- Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you’re doing. For example: If anyone needs me, I’ll be in the bathroom.
- Put mosquito netting around your cubicle.
- Call the psychic hotline and just say, “Guess.”
- When the money comes out of the ATM, scream, “I won! I won! Third time this week!!!”
- When leaving the zoo, start running toward the parking lot yelling, “Run for your lives, they’re loose!”
- Tell your boss, “It’s not the voices in my head that bother me, it’s the voices in your head that do”
- Tell your children over dinner, “Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.”
- Every time you see a broom, yell, “Honey, your mother is here.”