We all make mistakes and for several medical secretaries, what they typed didn’t quite explain the actual situation…

  • Patient has left her white blood cells at another hospital.
  • Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
  • Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
  • Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Jones, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.
  • The patient refused autopsy.
  • She is numb from her toes down.
  • She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until she got a divorce.
  • Discharge status: Alive, but without my permission.
  • Skin: somewhat pale, but present.
  • Patient was found in bed with her power mower.
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