The following are biblical bloopers from Sunday school students:

FROM THE OLD TESTAMENT

  • In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, the Lord got tired of creating the world, so he took the Sabbath off.
  • Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree.
  • Noah’s wife was called Joan of Ark.
  • Noah built the ark and the animals came on in pears.
  • Lot’s wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.
  • The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with unsympathetic Genitals.
  • Sampson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a jezebel like Delilah.
  • Sampson slated the Philistines with the axe of apostles.
  • Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients.
  • Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the Ten Amendments.
  • The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.
  • The Fifth Commandment is humor thy mother and father.
  • The Seventh Commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.
  • Moses died before he ever reached the UK. Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the Battle of Geritol.
  • The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him
  • David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought with the Finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in the biblical times.
  • Solomon, one of David’s sons, has 300 wives and 700 porcupines.

 

FROM THE NEW TESTAMENT

  • When the three wise guys from the East Side arrived, they found Jesus- in the manager. Jesus was born because Mary had an emaculate contraption.
  • St. John, the Blacksmith, dumped water on his head.
  • Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others before- they do one to you. He also explained, “Man doth not live by sweat alone.”
  • It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the tombstone off the entrance.
  • The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 decibels.
  • A Christian should have only one wife. This is called monotony.
  • The epistles were the wives of the apostles.
  • One of the opossums was St. Matthew, who was by profession a taximan.
  • When Mary heard that she was the Mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna Carta.
  • St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage.
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