“Tears shed for self are tears of weakness, but tears of love shed for others are a sign of strength. Until I have learned the value of compassionately sharing others’ sorrow, distress, and misfortune, I cannot know real happiness.” – Billy Graham
- The more confidential the memo, the more likely it will be left in the copy machine.
- The new improved model always appears on the market just after you’ve bought the old model.
- The person who suggests spitting the bill evenly is always the person who ordered the most expensive items
- The chance of a sudden cloudburst is in direct proportion to the amount of suede you’re wearing (and you should be ashamed if you are).
- The novice poker player will always take home the pot.
- You always get sick on the second day of your vacation and always recover the day before you return to work.
- The odd little noise you ignored all night will turn out to be a major disaster.
- The only things Super-Stick Glue will bond successfully are your fingers.
- When a traffic light gets stuck, you will get the red light.
- “One size fits all” items will never fit you.
- Your insurance protects you from everything except what actually happens.
“To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived, this is to have succeeded.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
A man walked into a doctor’s office. “What do you have?” the receptionist asked. “Shingles,” he replied. She told him to sit down. Soon a nurse called him and asked, “What do you have?” “Shingles,” he replied.
She took his blood pressure, weight, and complete medical history. Then she took him to a room and told him to remove all of his clothes. After a few minutes the doctor came in and asked, “What do you have?” “Shingles,” the man told him.
The doctor looked him up and down and said, “Where?” “Out on the truck. Where do you want me to unload them?”
“You to can fly. But that cocoon must go!”
“Drawing on my fine command of the language, I said nothing.” – Robert Benchley
“Life’s greatest rewards often appear in unexpected places.” – David Cottrell
“When people start telling you that you’re crazy, you just might be on to the most important innovation in your life.” – Larry Ellison