“Seek to know others. You’ll be amazed at how it will help you understand yourself.”
The Five Finger Prayer
- Your thumb is nearest you. Begin your prayers by praying for those closest to you. They are the easiest to remember. To pray for our loved ones is, as C. S. Lewis once said, a “sweet duty.”
- The next finger is the pointing finger. Pray for those who teach, instruct and heal. This includes teachers, doctors, and ministers. They need support and wisdom in pointing others in the right direction. Keep them in your prayers.
- The next finger is the tallest finger. It reminds us of our leaders. Pray for the president, leaders in business and industry, and administrators. These people shape our nation and guide public opinion. They need God’s guidance.
- The fourth finger is our ring finger. Surprising to many is the fact that this is our weakest finger, as any piano teacher will testify. It should remind us to pray for those who are weak, in trouble or in pain. They need your prayers day and night. You cannot pray too much for them.
- And lastly comes our little finger – the smallest finger of all which is where we should place ourselves in relation to God and others. As the Bible says, “The least shall be the greatest among you.” Your pinkie should remind you to pray for yourself. By the time you have prayed for the other four groups, your own needs will be put into proper perspective and you will be able to pray for yourself more effectively.
A Baby’s Earache
A woman brought her baby in to see the doctor, and he determined right away the baby had an earache. He wrote a prescription for ear drops. In the directions he wrote, “Put two drops in right ear every four hours” and he abbreviated “right” as an R with a circle around it.
Several days passed, and the woman returned with her baby, complaining that the baby still had an earache, and his little behind was getting really greasy with all those drops of oil. The doctor looked at the bottle of ear drops and sure enough, the pharmacist had typed the following instructions on the label:
“Put two drops in R ear every four hours.”
Don’t Rob Yourself of Being You
Moments
Stepping Towards Eternity
Opportunity Knocks
Wisdom and Integrity
Top Ways to Biblically Acquire a Wife
- Find an attractive prisoner of war, bring her home, shave her head, trim her nails, and give her new clothes. Then she’s yours. (Deuteronomy 21:11-13)
- Find a prostitute and marry her. (Hosea 1:1-3)
- Find a man with seven daughters, and impress him by watering his flock. (Moses–Exodus 2:16-21)
- Purchase a piece of property, and get a woman as part of the deal. (Boaz–Ruth 4:5-10)
- Go to a party and hide. When the women come out to dance, grab one and carry her off to be your wife. (Benjaminites–Judges 21:19-25)
- Have God create a wife for you while you sleep. Note: this will cost you. (Adam–Genesis 2:19-24)
- Agree to work seven years in exchange for a woman’s hand in marriage. Get tricked into marrying the wrong woman. Then work another seven years for the woman you wanted to marry in the first place. That’s right. Fourteen years of toil for a wife. (Jacob–Genesis 29:15-30)
- Cut 200 foreskins off of your future father-in-law’s enemies and get his daughter for a wife. (David–1 Samuel 18:27)
- Even if no one is out there, just wander around a bit and you’ll definitely find someone. (It’s all relative, of course.) (Cain–Genesis 4:16-17)
- Become the emperor of a huge nation and hold a beauty contest. (Xerxes or Ahasuerus–Esther 2:3-4)
- When you see someone you like, go home and tell your parents, “I have seen a … woman; now get her for me.” If your parents question your decision, simply say, “Get her for me. She’s the one for me.” (Samson–Judges 14:1-3)
- Kill any husband and take HIS wife (Prepare to lose four sons, though). (David–2 Samuel 11)
- Wait for your brother to die. Take his widow. (It’s not just a good idea; it’s the law.) (Onana and Boaz–Deuteronomy or Leviticus, example in Ruth)
- Don’t be so picky. Make up for quality with quantity. (Solomon–1 Kings 11:1-3)
- A wife?…NOT? (Paul–1 Corinthians 7:32-35)
Top Christian Break Up Lines Used by Women
- “I’m sorry, I’ve found someone more spiritual.”
- “I’m sorry, it’s just not God’s will.”
- “I feel called to the ministry…very soon and very far from you as soon as possible.”
- “I’m sorry, it could never work. I’m a sanguine and you’re a phlegmatic.”
- “God loves me and must have a better plan for my life.”
- “You know, I feel like I’m dating my brother.”
- “At least I got a lot out of our Bible studies together.”
- “You need someone with lower standards.”
- “I think we should just be prayer partners.”
- “I do love you, but it’s just agape now.”