- Your thumb is nearest you. Begin your prayers by praying for those closest to you. They are the easiest to remember. To pray for our loved ones is, as C. S. Lewis once said, a “sweet duty.”
- The next finger is the pointing finger. Pray for those who teach, instruct and heal. This includes teachers, doctors, and ministers. They need support and wisdom in pointing others in the right direction. Keep them in your prayers.
- The next finger is the tallest finger. It reminds us of our leaders. Pray for the president, leaders in business and industry, and administrators. These people shape our nation and guide public opinion. They need God’s guidance.
- The fourth finger is our ring finger. Surprising to many is the fact that this is our weakest finger, as any piano teacher will testify. It should remind us to pray for those who are weak, in trouble or in pain. They need your prayers day and night. You cannot pray too much for them.
- And lastly comes our little finger – the smallest finger of all which is where we should place ourselves in relation to God and others. As the Bible says, “The least shall be the greatest among you.” Your pinkie should remind you to pray for yourself. By the time you have prayed for the other four groups, your own needs will be put into proper perspective and you will be able to pray for yourself more effectively.
A Baby’s Earache
A woman brought her baby in to see the doctor, and he determined right away the baby had an earache. He wrote a prescription for ear drops. In the directions he wrote, “Put two drops in right ear every four hours” and he abbreviated “right” as an R with a circle around it.
Several days passed, and the woman returned with her baby, complaining that the baby still had an earache, and his little behind was getting really greasy with all those drops of oil. The doctor looked at the bottle of ear drops and sure enough, the pharmacist had typed the following instructions on the label:
“Put two drops in R ear every four hours.”
Don’t Rob Yourself of Being You
Moments
Stepping Towards Eternity
Opportunity Knocks
Wisdom and Integrity
Top Ways to Biblically Acquire a Wife
- Find an attractive prisoner of war, bring her home, shave her head, trim her nails, and give her new clothes. Then she’s yours. (Deuteronomy 21:11-13)
- Find a prostitute and marry her. (Hosea 1:1-3)
- Find a man with seven daughters, and impress him by watering his flock. (Moses–Exodus 2:16-21)
- Purchase a piece of property, and get a woman as part of the deal. (Boaz–Ruth 4:5-10)
- Go to a party and hide. When the women come out to dance, grab one and carry her off to be your wife. (Benjaminites–Judges 21:19-25)
- Have God create a wife for you while you sleep. Note: this will cost you. (Adam–Genesis 2:19-24)
- Agree to work seven years in exchange for a woman’s hand in marriage. Get tricked into marrying the wrong woman. Then work another seven years for the woman you wanted to marry in the first place. That’s right. Fourteen years of toil for a wife. (Jacob–Genesis 29:15-30)
- Cut 200 foreskins off of your future father-in-law’s enemies and get his daughter for a wife. (David–1 Samuel 18:27)
- Even if no one is out there, just wander around a bit and you’ll definitely find someone. (It’s all relative, of course.) (Cain–Genesis 4:16-17)
- Become the emperor of a huge nation and hold a beauty contest. (Xerxes or Ahasuerus–Esther 2:3-4)
- When you see someone you like, go home and tell your parents, “I have seen a … woman; now get her for me.” If your parents question your decision, simply say, “Get her for me. She’s the one for me.” (Samson–Judges 14:1-3)
- Kill any husband and take HIS wife (Prepare to lose four sons, though). (David–2 Samuel 11)
- Wait for your brother to die. Take his widow. (It’s not just a good idea; it’s the law.) (Onana and Boaz–Deuteronomy or Leviticus, example in Ruth)
- Don’t be so picky. Make up for quality with quantity. (Solomon–1 Kings 11:1-3)
- A wife?…NOT? (Paul–1 Corinthians 7:32-35)
Top Christian Break Up Lines Used by Women
- “I’m sorry, I’ve found someone more spiritual.”
- “I’m sorry, it’s just not God’s will.”
- “I feel called to the ministry…very soon and very far from you as soon as possible.”
- “I’m sorry, it could never work. I’m a sanguine and you’re a phlegmatic.”
- “God loves me and must have a better plan for my life.”
- “You know, I feel like I’m dating my brother.”
- “At least I got a lot out of our Bible studies together.”
- “You need someone with lower standards.”
- “I think we should just be prayer partners.”
- “I do love you, but it’s just agape now.”
Kids Define Love
A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4-8 year olds, “What does love mean?” The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:
- “When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn’t bend over and paint her toenails anymore so my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That’s love.” Rebecca – age 8.
- “When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth.” Billy – age 4
- “Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.” Karl – age 5
- “Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your french fries without making them give you any of theirs.” Chrissy – age 6
- “Love is what makes you smile when you’re tired.” Terri – age 4
- “Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is okay.” Danny – age 7
- “Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss.” Emily – age 8
- “Love is what’s in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.” Bobby – age 7
- “If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate.” Nikka – age 6
- “There are two kinds of love, Our love. God’s love. But God makes both kinds of them.” Jenny – age 8
- “Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it every day.” Noelle – age 7
- “Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.” Tommy – age 6
- “During my piano recital I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn’t scared anymore.” Cindy – age 8
- “My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don’t see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.” Clare – age 6
- “Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.” Elaine – age 5
- “Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Brad Pitt.” Chris – age 7
- “I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.” Lauren – age 5
- “When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.” Karen – age 7
- “You really shouldn’t say ‘I love you’ unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.” Jessica – age 8