“Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face.” – Mike Tyson
Frog Racing
Once upon a time there was a bunch of tiny frogs who arranged a running competition. The goal was to reach the top of a very high tower. A big crowd had gathered around the tower to see the race and cheer on the contestants. The race began and no one in the crowd really believed that the tiny frogs would reach the top of the tower.
You heard statements such as, “Oh, WAY too difficult!!” “They will NEVER make it to the top.” “Not a chance that they will succeed. The tower is too high!”
The tiny frogs began collapsing one by one, except for those, who in a fresh tempo, were climbing higher and higher. The crowd continued to yell, “It is too difficult!!! No one will make it!” More tiny frogs got tired and gave up.
But ONE continued higher and higher and higher. This one wouldn’t give up! Finally, everyone else had given up climbing the tower, except for the one tiny frog who, after a big effort, was the only one who reached the top!
All of the other tiny frogs naturally wanted to know how this one frog managed to do it. A contestant asked the tiny frog how he had found the strength to succeed and reach the goal? It turned out that the winner was deaf.
Signs You Are Getting Old
- Everything hurts and what doesn’t hurt doesn’t work.
- The gleam in your eyes is from the sun hitting your bi-focals.
- You keep repeating yourself.
- You feel like the morning after and you haven’t been anywhere.
- Your little black book contains only names that end in M.D.
- Your children begin to look middle aged.
- You keep repeating yourself.
- You finally reach the top of the ladder and find it leaning against the wrong wall.
- Your mind makes contracts your body can’t meet.
- You look forward to a dull evening.
- Your favorite part of the newspaper is “20 Years Ago Today.”
- You turn out the lights for economic rather than romantic reasons.
- You sit in a rocking chair and can’t get it going.
- Your knees buckle, and your belt won’t.
- You’re 17 around the neck, 42 around the waist, and 105 around the golf course.
- Your back goes out more than you do.
- You sink your teeth into a steak, and they stay there.
- You have too much room in the house and not enough in the medicine cabinet.
- You know all the answers, but nobody asks you the questions.
- You’re asleep, but others worry that you’re dead.
- You’re proud of your lawn mower.
- Your best friend is dating someone half their age…and isn’t breaking any laws.
- Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.
- You would rather go to work than stay home sick.
- You make an appointment to see the dentist.
- People call at 9 pm and ask, “Did I wake you?”
- You have a dream about prunes.
- You answer a question with, “Because I said so.”
- You send money to PBS.
- The end of your tie doesn’t come anywhere near the top of your pants.
- You take a metal detector to the beach.
- You wear black socks with sandals.
- You can’t remember the last time you laid on the floor to watch TV.
- Your ears and nose are hairier than your head.
- You got cable for the Weather Channel (sometimes referred to as “Old Folks MTV”).
- If a young girl looks at you, you check to make sure you remembered to put on your pants.
- You keep repeating yourself.
- You discover bifocals are stylish.
- When you do the “Hokey Pokey” you put your left hip out…and you can’t get it back around.
- Most women you know under 40 put you in the “Friend of my Father” class.
- Relatives smile benignly rather than interrupt you as you retell the same story for the zillionth time.
- You run out of breath walking DOWN a flight of stairs.
- Conversations with people your own age often turn into “dueling ailments.”
- People don’t harass you any more when you take an afternoon nap.
- Your social security number only has three digits.
- In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
- It’s harder and harder for sexual harassment charges to stick.
- Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
- No one expects you to run into a burning building.
- Restaurants stop asking to see your senior discount card.
- People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
- There’s nothing left to learn the hard way.
- Things you buy now won’t wear out.
- You buy a compass for the dash of your car.
- You can eat dinner at 4:00.
- You consider coffee one of the most important things in life.
- You constantly talk about the price of gasoline.
- You’re actually interested in hearing about other people’s operations.
- You get into a heated argument about pension plans and social security.
- You have a party and the neighbors don’t even realize it.
- You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
- You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
- You sing along with the elevator music.
- You talk about “good grass” and you’re referring to someone’s lawn.
- Your eyes won’t get much worse.
- Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
- Your joints are more accurate than the National Weather Service.
- Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.
- Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
Persistence Makes the Difference
“Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not. Nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not. Unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not. The world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence, determination and hard work make the difference.” – Calvin Coolidge