- Only in America can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
- Only in America are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
- Only in America do stores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
- Only in America do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, a candy bar and a Diet Coke.
- Only in America do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
- Only in America do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
- Only in America do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won’t miss a call from someone we didn’t want to talk to in the first place.
- Only in America do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
- Only in America do we use the word ‘politics’ to describe the process so well: ‘Poli’ in Latin meaning ‘many’ and ‘tics’ meaning ‘bloodsucking creatures’.
- Only in America do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
Medical Technology
“That it will ever come into general use, notwithstanding its value, I am extremely doubtful; because its beneficial application requires much time, and gives a good deal of trouble both to the patient and the practitioner; and because its whole hue and character is foreign, and opposed to all our habits and associations.” – John Forbes M.D.
– Written about the stethoscope in 1822
You Can
You can ask of the Lord because He will not give you a wrong answer.
You can wait upon the Lord because His timing is always perfect.
You can trust in the Lord because He makes no mistakes.
You can hope in the Lord because He holds your future.
You can rest in the Lord because He is in control of your life.
You can lean upon the Lord because He is completely faithful.
– Roy Lessin
New Babies
Four men are in the hospital waiting room while their wives are having babies.
A nurse goes up to the first guy and says, “Congratulations! You’re the father of twins.”
“That’s odd,” answers the man. “I work for the Minnesota Twins!”
A nurse says to the second guy, “Congratulations! You’re the father of triplets!”
“That’s weird,” answers the second man. “I work for the 3M company!”
A nurse tells the third guy, “Congratulations! You’re the father of quadruplets!”
“That’s strange,” he answers. “I work for the Four Seasons hotel!”
The fourth guy begins groaning and banging his head against the wall. “What’s wrong?” the others ask.
He says, “I work for 7 Up!”