Don't Mess with the Elderly

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An elderly couple returned to a Mercedes dealership to find the salesman had just sold the car they were interested in to a beautiful blonde girl.

“I thought you said you would hold that car until we raised the $75,000 asking price,” said the man. “Yet, I just heard you closed the deal for $65,000 to that lovely lady there. You insisted there could be no discount on this model.”

“Well, what can I tell you? She had the cash ready and just look at her, how could I resist?” replied the grinning salesman.

“Just then, the young woman approached the old folks and handed them the keys. “There you go,” she said. “I told you I could get this joker to drop the price. See you later grandpa.”

Never mess with the elderly.

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Questions for Reference Librarians

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These are actual questions that were asked of Reference Librarians in America and Canada (and you think your job is rough):

  • “Do you have books here?”
  • “Do you have a list of all the books written in the English language?”
  • “Do you have a list of all the books I’ve ever read?”
  • “Where is the reference desk?” This was asked of a person sitting at a desk who had, hanging above her head, a sign saying “REFERENCE DESK”!
  • “I was here about three weeks ago looking at a cookbook that cost $39.95. Do you know which one it is?”
  • “Which outlets in the library are appropriate for my hairdryer?”
  • “Can you tell me why so many famous Civil War battles were fought on National Park sites?”
  • “Do you have any books with photographs of dinosaurs?”
  • “I need a color photograph of George Washington [Christopher Columbus, King Arthur, Moses, Socrates, etc.]”
  • “I need a photocopy of Booker T. Washington’s birth certificate.”
  • “I need to find out Ibid’s first name for my bibliography.”
  • “Why don’t you have any books by Ibid? He’s written a lot of important stuff.”
  • “I’m looking for information on carpal tunnel syndrome. I think I’m having trouble with it in my neck.”
  • “Is the basement upstairs?” (Asked at First Floor Reference Desk)
  • “I am looking for a list of laws that I can break that would send me back to jail for a couple of months.”
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Thou Shalt Not Kill

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I always thought there’s one commandment that Moses brought down from the mountain that I could never break:

THOU SHALT NOT KILL.

Inconceivable that I would use a gun, a knife, my bare hands, or anything to actually kill someone!

But, what about…

  • killing someone’s joy or enthusiasm?
  • killing someone’s faith in himself, herself, or others?
  • killing someone’s spirit?
  • killing their reputation?
  • killing their hopes or dreams?

Not a gun or a knife, but a look, a snicker, a comment, or a lack of comment. Killing with a ball point pen or a sharp tongue…

It may take them 37 or 53 years to die, but they had been killed already.

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