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Keep Your Cool, Live on Fire, Fuel the Flame!

Tauntisms are meant to make us think, make us smile and ignite the flame inside us! They are organized by category and topic, as listed on our menus. Save and Share any Tauntism using the links below each one. You can have them delivered daily by email and RSS newsfeed, or just scroll and enjoy!

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Keep Your Fork

There was a woman who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness and had been given three months to live. So as as she was getting her things “in order,” she contacted her pastor and had him come to her house to discuss certain aspects of her final wishes. She told him which songs she wanted sung at the service, what scriptures she would like read, and what outfit she wanted to be buried in. The woman also requested to be buried with her favorite Bible.

Everything was in order and the pastor was preparing to leave when the woman suddenly remembered something very important to her. “There’s one more thing,” she said excitedly. “What’s that?” came the pastor’s reply. “This is very important,” the woman continued. “I want to be buried with a fork in my right hand.” The pastor stood looking at the woman, not knowing quite what to say. “That surprises you, doesn’t it?” the woman asked.

“Well, to be honest, I’m puzzled by the request,” said the pastor. The woman explained. “In all my years of attending church socials and potluck dinners I always remember that when the dishes were cleared, someone would inevitably lean over and say, ‘Keep your fork.’ It was my favorite part because I knew that something better was coming… like velvety chocolate cake or deep-dish apple pie. Something wonderful and of substance!

So I just want people to see me there in that casket with a fork in my hand and I want them to wonder, ‘What’s with the fork?’ Then I want you to tell them: ‘Keep your fork… the best is yet to come.’ The pastor’s eyes welled up with tears of joy as he hugged the woman goodbye. He knew this would be one of the last times he would see her before her death. But he also knew that the woman had a better grasp of heaven that he did. She knew that something better was coming.

At the funeral people were walking by the woman’s casket and they saw the pretty dress she was wearing and her favorite Bible and the fork placed in her right hand. Over and over, the pastor heard the question, “What’s with the fork?” And over and over he smiled. During his message, the pastor told the people of the conversation he had with the woman shortly before she died. He also told them about the fork and what it symbolized to her.

The pastor told the people how he could not stop thinking about the fork and told them that they probably would not be able to stop thinking about it either. He was right. So the next time you reach down for your fork, let it remind you, oh so gently, that the best is yet to come.

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Success and Your Dream

“Success is attaining your dream while helping others to benefit from that dream materializing.” – Sugar Ray Leonard

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People Remember

“Perhaps the world little notes, nor long remembers individual acts of kindness, but people do.” – Herm Albright

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Unfortunate Last Words

  • What does this button do?
  • It’s probably just a rash.
  • Are you sure the power is off?
  • Yeah, I made the deciding vote on the jury, so what of it?
  • The odds of that happening have to be a million to one!
  • Pull the pin and count to what?
  • Which wire was I supposed to cut?
  • I wonder where the mother bear is?
  • I’ve seen this done on TV.
  • Watch This!
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The New Librarian

The new Librarian decided that instead of checking out children’s books by writing the names of borrowers on the book cards herself, she would have the youngsters sign their own names. She would then tell them they were signing a ‘Contract’ for returning the books on time.

Her first customer was a 2nd grader, who looked surprised to see a new Librarian. He brought four books to the desk and shoved them across to the Librarian, giving her his name as was the custom. The new librarian pushed the books back, smiled, and told him to sign them out himself.

The boy carefully printed his name on each book card and then handed them to her with a look of utter disgust. Before the Librarian could even start her speech he said, scornfully, “At least that other Librarian we had could write.”

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Our Duty to Encourage

“We have a duty to encourage one another. Many a time a word of praise or thanks or appreciation or cheer has kept a man on his feet. Blessed is the man who speaks such a word.” – William Barclay

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Rooted, Yet Flexible

Trees look strong compared with the wild reeds in the field. But when the storm comes the trees are uprooted, whereas the wild reeds, while moved back and forth by the wind, remain rooted and stand up again after the storm has calmed down.

Flexibility is a great virtue. When we cling to our own positions and are not willing to let our hearts be moved back and forth a little by the ideas or actions of others, we may easily be broken. Being like wild reeds does not mean being wishy-washy. It means moving a little with the winds of the time while remaining solidly anchored in the ground.

A humorless, intense, opinionated rigidity about current issues might cause them to break our spirits and make us bitter people. Let’s be flexible while being deeply rooted.

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De La Lastra’s Law

“After the last of 16 mounting screws has been removed from an access cover, it will be discovered that the wrong access cover has been removed.” – De La Lastra’s Law

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