“In the province of the mind, what one believes to be true either is true or becomes true.” – Fortune Cookie
Sacrifice
There was a blind girl who hated herself because she was blind. She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her. She told her boyfriend, “If I could only see the world, I will marry you.”
One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her. When the bandages came off, she was able to see everything, including her boyfriend. He asked her, “Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?”
The girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind. The sight of his closed eyelids shocked her. She hadn’t expected that. The thought of looking at them the rest of her life led her to refuse to marry him.
Her boyfriend became very upset and left. Days later, he wrote a note to her saying: “Take good care of your eyes, my dear, for before they were yours, they were mine.”
The Talking Dog
A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: “Talking Dog For Sale.” He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.
The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there. “You talk?” he asks. “Yep,” the Lab replies. After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says “So, what’s your story?”
The Lab looks up and says, “Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I joined the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.”
“I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn’t getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded several medals.”
“I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I’m just retired.” The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner how much he wants for the dog. “Ten dollars,” the guy says. “Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?” The owner replied, “Because he’s a liar. He’s never been out of the yard.”
Precious Memories
A minister decided to do something a little different one Sunday morning. He said “Today, in church, I am going to say a single word and you are going to help me preach. Whatever single word I say, I want you to sing whatever hymn that comes to your mind.”
The pastor shouted out “CROSS.” Immediately the congregation started singing in unison, “THE OLD RUGGED CROSS.”
The pastor hollered out “GRACE.” The congregation began to sing “AMAZING GRACE, how sweet the sound.”
The pastor said “POWER.” The congregation sang “THERE IS POWER IN THE BLOOD.”
The Pastor said “SEX.” The congregation fell into total silence. Everyone was in shock. They all nervously began to look around at each other, afraid to say anything.
Then all of a sudden, way from in the back of the church, a little old 87-year-old grandmother stood up and began to sing “PRECIOUS MEMORIES.”