“Live your life as an exclamation, not an explanation.”
Taking It With You
There once was a rich man who was near death. He was very grieved because he had worked so hard for his money and he wanted to be able to take it with him to heaven.
So he began to pray that he might be able to take some of his wealth with him. An angel hears his plea and appears to him, “Sorry, but you can’t take your wealth with you.”
The man implores the angel to speak to God to see if He might bend the rules. The man continues to pray that his wealth could follow him.
The angel reappears and informs the man that God has decided to allow him to take one suitcase with him. Overjoyed, the man gathers his largest suitcase and fills it with pure gold bars and places it beside his bed.
Soon afterward the man dies and shows up at the Gates of Heaven to greet St. Peter. Seeing the suitcase Peter says, “Hold on, you can’t bring that in here!”
But the man explains to him that he has permission and asks him to verify his story with the Lord. Sure enough, St. Peter checks and comes back saying, “You’re right. You are allowed one carry-on bag, but I’m supposed to check its contents before letting it through.”
Peter opens the suitcase to inspect the worldly items that the man found too precious to leave behind and exclaims, “You brought pavement?!!”
Unusual Job Applicants
We’ve all been interviewed for jobs. And, we’ve all spent most of those interviews thinking about what not to do. A survey of top personnel executives of 100 major American corporations asked for stories of unusual behavior by job applicants. Here are some examples…
“… stretched out on the floor to fill out the job application.”
“She wore headphones and said she could listen to me and the music at the same time.”
” A balding candidate abruptly excused himself. Returned to office a few minutes later, wearing a hairpiece.”
“… asked to see interviewers resume to see if the personnel executive was qualified to judge the candidate.”
“… announced she hadn’t had lunch and proceeded to eat a hamburger and French fries in the interviewers office – wiping the ketchup on her sleeve”
“Stated that, if he were hired, he would demonstrate his loyalty by having the corporate logo tattooed on his forearm.”
“Interrupted to phone his therapist for advice on answering specific interview questions.”
“When I asked him about his hobbies, he stood up and started tap dancing around my office.”
“At the end of the interview, while I stood there dumbstruck, he went through my purse, took out a brush, brushed his hair, and left.”