“If you think you’re too small to have an impact, try going to bed with a mosquito in the room.” – Dame Anita Roddick
“Someday Isle is not a dream vacation spot. It is an imaginary destination to which you will never arrive. It is the carrot on the stick perpetually in front of you. So close you can see it, yet you will never reach it. Don’t vacation on Someday Isle.” – Frank F. Lunn
“Without a doubt, providing recognition is one of the best ways (if not the best way) to build and maintain superior performance. The reason for that is quite simple: reinforced behavior gets repeated.” – Eric Harvey
“Time is short. Eternity is long. God is good.” – Sr. Mary Martial
“If a man is called to be a street sweeper, he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted, or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.
The passenger tapped the cab driver on the shoulder to ask him something. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the sidewalk, and stopped inches from a department store window. For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, “Look mister, don’t ever do that again. You scared me half to death!”
The passenger apologized and said he didn’t realize that a little tap could scare him so much. The driver replied, “You’re right. I’m sorry. Really, it’s not your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver. I’ve been driving a hearse for 25 years.”
“Darkness deserves gratitude. It is the alleluia point at which we learn to understand that all growth does not take place in the sunlight.” – Joan Chittister
“If you can’t be a good example, then you’ll just have to be a horrible warning.” – Catherine Aird
“Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born?” – Benny Hill
- Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
- If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be “meetings.”
- There is a very fine line between “hobby” and “mental illness.”
- People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
- And when God, who created the entire universe with all of its glories, decides to deliver a message to humanity, He WILL NOT use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle.
- You should not confuse your career with your life.
- No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
- When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.
- Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.
- Never lick a steak knife.
- Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.
- The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.
- You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
- You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she’s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
- There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age 11.
- The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
- The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them.
- A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
- Your friends love you, anyway.
– By Dave Barry 🙂