So there’s this man with a parrot. And his parrot swears like a sailor. He can swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself. The trouble is the guy who owns the parrot is a quiet, conservative type, and this … Continue reading →
Once on a hot summer day in Florida, a little boy decided to go for a swim in the old swimming hole behind his house. In a hurry to dive into the cool water, he ran out the back door, … Continue reading →
On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically imposed midwinter festival, my potential-acquaintance gave to me, TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual drumming, ELEVEN pipers piping (plus the 18-member pit orchestra made up of members in good standing of … Continue reading →
One day a State Trooper was pulling off an expressway near Chicago. When he turned onto the street at the end of the ramp, he noticed someone at a chicken place getting into his car. The driver placed the bucket … Continue reading →
Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle? Can fat people go skinny-dipping? Can you be a closet claustrophobic? Is it possible to be totally partial? What’s another word for thesaurus? If a book about failures doesn’t sell, … Continue reading →
A new miracle doctor had just arrived in town. He could cure anything and anybody, and everyone was amazed with what he could do – everyone except for Mr. Thompson, the town skeptic. Grumpy old Mr. Thompson went to this … Continue reading →
George W. Bush was walking through an airport last week, when he saw an old man with white hair, a long white beard, wearing a long white robe and holding a staff. He walked up to the man, who was … Continue reading →
Here’s the exercise program I’m using to stay in shape this year. You might want to take it easy at first, then do it faster as you become more proficient. It may be too strenuous for some. AS ALWAYS, CONSULT … Continue reading →
After my 11 year old son did something really dumb, I called him a “moron.” He looked at me like he was saying, “Dad, do you know anything?” He finally said “Dad I looked ‘moron’ up in the dictionary and … Continue reading →
A 4-year-old was brought to the Emergency Room with a severe cough. She kept up a non-stop conversation while the nurse was trying to assess her lung sounds. Finally, the nurse said, “Shhh, I have to see if Barney is … Continue reading →