Out of Shape
I felt like my body had gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor’s permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to start out by taking an aerobics class. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped … Continue reading →
Category Archives: Thought Provokers
Things You Never Hear in Church
Hey! It’s my turn to sit in the front pew. I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon went 25 minutes over time. Personally, I find witnessing much more enjoyable than golf. I’ve decided to give our church the … Continue reading →
What is Sex?
An 8-year-old girl went to her dad, who was working in the yard. She asked him, “Daddy, what is sex?” The father was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decided that if she was old enough to … Continue reading →
Things My Mother Taught Me
My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. “If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.” My mother taught me RELIGION. “You’d better pray that will come out of the carpet.” My … Continue reading →
Today
I woke up early today, excited over all I get to do before the clock strikes midnight. I have responsibilities to fulfill today. I am important. My job is to choose what kind of day I am going to have. … Continue reading →
God, Satan, and Our Health
And God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives. And Satan created McDonald’s. And McDonald’s brought forth the double-cheeseburger. And Satan … Continue reading →
Valentine’s Day Dream
While Emma and her husband are having breakfast the morning of Valentine’s Day, Emma lovingly looks into Jim’s eyes. She says, “I had a dream that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine’s Day. What do you think it … Continue reading →
Getting the Attractive Wife
A man was in his usual place in the morning, sitting at the table, reading the paper after breakfast. He came across an article about a beautiful actress who was about to marry a football player. The player was known … Continue reading →
Top Christian Pickup Lines
“I just don’t feel called to celibacy.” “Did I tell you that my great-uncle was a personal friend of Billy Graham?” “I don’t see it myself, but people tell me I look like Michael W. Smith.” “What do you think … Continue reading →
The Way It Is
The more confidential the memo, the more likely it will be left in the copy machine. The new improved model always appears on the market just after you’ve bought the old model. The person who suggests spitting the bill evenly … Continue reading →