You Will Need: One Toilet, One Cat, Appropriate Amount of Cat Shampoo Add the appropriate amount of shampoo to the toilet water, and put both lids up. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the … Continue reading →
During a practical exercise at a military police base, the instructor was giving the class instruction in unarmed self defense. After he presented a number of different situations in which they might find themselves, he asked a student, “What steps … Continue reading →
A farmer walked into an attorney’s office wanting to file for a divorce. The attorney asked, “May I help you?” The farmer said, “Yea, I want to get one of those dayvorces.” The attorney said, “Well, do you have any … Continue reading →
When the minister picked up the phone, a special agent from the IRS was on the line. “Hello, is this the minister?” “Yes, this is.” “I’m calling to inquire about a member of your congregation, a Dr. Smith. Do you … Continue reading →
So there’s this man with a parrot. And his parrot swears like a sailor. He can swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself. The trouble is the guy who owns the parrot is a quiet, conservative type, and this … Continue reading →
Once on a hot summer day in Florida, a little boy decided to go for a swim in the old swimming hole behind his house. In a hurry to dive into the cool water, he ran out the back door, … Continue reading →
On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically imposed midwinter festival, my potential-acquaintance gave to me, TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual drumming, ELEVEN pipers piping (plus the 18-member pit orchestra made up of members in good standing of … Continue reading →
One day a State Trooper was pulling off an expressway near Chicago. When he turned onto the street at the end of the ramp, he noticed someone at a chicken place getting into his car. The driver placed the bucket … Continue reading →
Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle? Can fat people go skinny-dipping? Can you be a closet claustrophobic? Is it possible to be totally partial? What’s another word for thesaurus? If a book about failures doesn’t sell, … Continue reading →
A new miracle doctor had just arrived in town. He could cure anything and anybody, and everyone was amazed with what he could do – everyone except for Mr. Thompson, the town skeptic. Grumpy old Mr. Thompson went to this … Continue reading →