A three-year-old opened the birthday gift from his grandmother and discovered it was a water pistol. He shouted with delight and headed for the nearest sink. His mother was not so pleased. She turned to her mother and said, “I’m … Continue reading →
Make peace with your past, so it won’t mess up the present. What others think of you is none of your business. Time heals almost everything, so give it time. Don’t compare your life to others and don’t judge them. … Continue reading →
While walking through a parking lot, I tripped and fell flat on my face. As I was lying there, a woman stopped her car and called out, “Are you hurt?” “No, I’m fine,” I said. “Oh, good,” she continued. “Will … Continue reading →
Christmas Break was over and the teacher was asking the class about their vacations. She turned to little Johnny and asked what he did over the break. “We visited my grandmother in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania,” he replied. “That sounds like an … Continue reading →
I felt like my body had gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor’s permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to start out by taking an aerobics class. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped … Continue reading →
Hey! It’s my turn to sit in the front pew. I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon went 25 minutes over time. Personally, I find witnessing much more enjoyable than golf. I’ve decided to give our church the … Continue reading →
An 8-year-old girl went to her dad, who was working in the yard. She asked him, “Daddy, what is sex?” The father was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decided that if she was old enough to … Continue reading →
My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. “If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.” My mother taught me RELIGION. “You’d better pray that will come out of the carpet.” My … Continue reading →
I woke up early today, excited over all I get to do before the clock strikes midnight. I have responsibilities to fulfill today. I am important. My job is to choose what kind of day I am going to have. … Continue reading →
And God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives. And Satan created McDonald’s. And McDonald’s brought forth the double-cheeseburger. And Satan … Continue reading →