A Birthday Wish

Tauntisms.com - Inspiration and Encouragement | Keep Your Cool | Live on Fire | Fuel the Flame Posted on by

A mother asked her small son what he would like for his birthday. “I’d like a little brother,” a boy said.

“Oh my, that’s such a big wish,” said the mother. Why do you want a little brother”? “Well,” said the boy, “there’s only so much I can blame on my dog.”

Save and Share:

The New Hearing Aid

Tauntisms.com - Inspiration and Encouragement | Keep Your Cool | Live on Fire | Fuel the Flame Posted on by

We have Assisted Listening Devices at our church for those who might not be able to hear the service without them. A few weeks ago I offered one to Mr. L.

He told me that he didn’t need one because he had just bought a new hearing aid, and it cost him $4,000. I asked him, “What kind is it?” He looked at his wrist and said, “About 10:55.”

Save and Share:

Simple Can Be Hard

Tauntisms.com - Inspiration and Encouragement | Keep Your Cool | Live on Fire | Fuel the Flame Posted on by

“Simple can be harder than complex: You have to work hard to get your thinking clean to make it simple.” – Steve Jobs

Save and Share:

Sincerity

Tauntisms.com - Inspiration and Encouragement | Keep Your Cool | Live on Fire | Fuel the Flame Posted on by

One summer evening, a thirteen-year-old came in while his parents were setting the table for supper. Quite surprisingly, he asked if he could help.

His mother said, “No, but I appreciate your asking.” The child responded, “Well, I appreciate your saying no.”

Save and Share:

Would I Follow Me?

Tauntisms.com - Inspiration and Encouragement | Keep Your Cool | Live on Fire | Fuel the Flame Posted on by

“Leaders should step back and take a moment to consider and think about this simple question: ‘Would I follow me? Why or why not?'” – Greg Taunt

Save and Share:

Caught Cheating

Tauntisms.com - Inspiration and Encouragement | Keep Your Cool | Live on Fire | Fuel the Flame Posted on by

A bunch of guys were sitting around the office playing poker. “I win!” said Johnson, at which point Henderson threw down his cards.

“That’s it! I’ve had it! Johnson is cheating!” “How can you tell?” Phillips asked. “Those aren’t the cards I dealt him!”

Save and Share:

Ironic Word Play

Tauntisms.com - Inspiration and Encouragement | Keep Your Cool | Live on Fire | Fuel the Flame Posted on by
  • You can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish.
  • To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
  • When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.
  • When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.
  • A will is a dead giveaway.
  • When you’ve seen one shopping Center you’ve seen a mall.
  • When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
  • Those who get too big for their pants will be exposed in the end.
  • A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
  • The batteries were given out free of charge.
  • A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.
  • A will is a dead giveaway.
  • With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
  • A boiled egg is hard to beat.
  • Police were called to the daycare center, where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
  • Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.
  • A bicycle can’t stand alone; it is two tired.
  • The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.
  • He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
  • When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she’d dye.
  • Acupuncture is a job well done. That’s the point of it.
Save and Share: