The Book of Taunt – clever quotes, sayings, and anecdotes that make a powerful point.

Thought Provokers – motivational and meaningful stories, fables, parables and collections – great for opening a meeting or lifting your spirit.

Scripture Energizers – an assortment of Bible verses that guide and direct our daily living.

The Ticket to Heaven – a simple, powerful paper folding exercise that illustrates God’s love for us and the importance of having a personal relationship with Christ. All you need is a piece of 8 1/2″ x 11″ notebook paper.


The Politically Correct 12 Days of Christmas

On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically imposed midwinter festival, my potential-acquaintance-abuse-survivor gave to me,

  • TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual drumming,
  • ELEVEN pipers piping (plus the 18-member pit orchestra made up of members in good standing of the Musicians Equity Union as called for in their union contract even though they will not be asked to play a note…)
  • TEN melanin-deprived testosterone-poisoned scions of the patriarchal ruling class system leaping,
  • NINE persons engaged in rhythmic self-expression,
  • EIGHT economically disadvantaged female persons stealing milk-products from enslaved Bovine-Americans,
  • SEVEN endangered swans swimming on federally protected wetlands,
  • SIX enslaved fowl-Americans producing stolen nonhuman animal products,
  • FIVE golden symbols of culturally sanctioned enforced domestic incarceration, (NOTE: after a member of the Animal Liberation Front threatened to throw red paint at my computer, the calling birds, French hens and partridge have been reintroduced to their native habitat. To avoid further animal-American enslavement, the remaining gift package has been revised.)
  • FOUR hours of recorded whale songs,
  • THREE deconstructionist poets,
  • TWO Sierra Club calendars printed on recycled processed tree carcasses,
  • And a Spotted Owl activist chained to an old-growth pear tree.
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You Are the Beholder

“People often say that ‘beauty is in the eye of the beholder,’ and I say that the most liberating thing about beauty is realizing that you are the beholder. This empowers us to find beauty in places where others have not dared to look, including inside ourselves.” – Salma Hayek

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Interruptions

When you are exhausted by interruptions, try to remember that their very frequency may indicate how valuable your life is.

Only the people who are full of help and strength are burdened by other people’s needs.

The interruptions which we so often complain about demonstrate how important we truly are.

The greatest condemnation that anybody could incur – and it is a danger to guard against – is to be so independent, so unhelpful, that nobody ever interrupts us and we are left comfortably alone.

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Thanking God for Food

A 4-year-old boy who was asked to return thanks before Christmas dinner. The family members bowed their heads in expectation.

He began his prayer, thanking God for all his friends, naming them one by one. Then he thanked God for Mommy, Daddy, brother, sister, Grandma, Grandpa, and all his aunts and uncles. Then he began to thank God for the food.

He gave thanks for the turkey, the dressing, the fruit salad, the cranberry sauce, the pies, the cakes, even the Cool Whip. Then he paused, and everyone waited–and waited.

After a long silence, the young fellow looked up at his mother and asked, “If I thank God for the broccoli, won’t He know that I’m lying?”

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We Are But Dust

A visiting minister waxed eloquently during the offertory. “Dear Lord,” he began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face, “Without you we are but dust. . . ”

He would have continued but at that moment my small daughter, who was listening intently, asked quite audibly in her shrill little voice, “Mom, what is butt dust?”

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What is Sex?

An 8-year-old girl went to her dad, who was working in the yard. She asked him, “Daddy, what is sex?” The father was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decided that if she was old enough to ask the question, then she was old enough to get a straight answer.

He proceeded to tell her all about the ‘birds and the bees’. When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with her mouth hanging open. The father asked her, “Why did you ask this question?” The little girl replied, “Mom told me to tell you that dinner would be ready in just a couple of secs.”

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