At lunch time, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down. Page yourself over the intercom. (Don’t disguise your voice.) Insist that your e-mail address is Xena-goddess-of-fire@companyname.com or Elvis-the-King … Continue reading →
Old man Fielding, the miser, at last went to his reward and presented himself at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter greeted him with appropriate solemnity and escorted him to his new abode. Walking past numerous elegant mansions finally they arrived … Continue reading →
Once upon a time there lived a man who had a maddening passion for baked beans. He loved them, but they always had a very embarrassing and somewhat lively affect on him. Then one day, he met a beautiful girl … Continue reading →
One horsepower is the amount of energy it takes to drag a horse 500 feet in one second. You can listen to thunder after lightening and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don’t hear it, you … Continue reading →
A man complains to a friend, “I can’t take it anymore.” “What’s wrong?” his concerned friend asks. “It’s my wife. Every time we have an argument, she gets historical!” “You mean hysterical,” his friend said, chuckling. “No, I mean HISTORICAL,” … Continue reading →
The youth director had been trying for months to get the little boy down the street to come to church to be with his third grade Sunday school class. Finally after talking to the boy and his mother for what … Continue reading →
See if you can read this: Olny srmat poelpe can. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch sudty at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer … Continue reading →
The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn’t paying attention in class. She called on him and said, “Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?” Little Johnny quickly replied, “NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!”
Continue reading →What do you call a blind reindeer? I have no eye deer. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite. What do you call an elf that can sing and dance? Elfis. How do sheep … Continue reading →
The teacher was giving her class of seven-year-olds a natural-history lesson. “Worker ants,” she told them, “can carry pieces of food five times their own weight. What do you conclude from that?” One child was ready with the answer: “They … Continue reading →