Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that … Continue reading →
A person who can’t remember to walk the dog but never forgets a phone number. A weight watcher who goes on a diet by giving up candy bars before breakfast. A youngster who receives her allowance on Monday, spends it … Continue reading →
Large, loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people–whether they’re employed or not. At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil. Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override … Continue reading →
A visiting minister waxed eloquently during the offertory. “Dear Lord,” he began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face, “Without you we are but dust. . . ” He would have continued but at … Continue reading →
Only in America can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. Only in America are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink. Only in America do stores make the sick walk all the way … Continue reading →
“That it will ever come into general use, notwithstanding its value, I am extremely doubtful; because its beneficial application requires much time, and gives a good deal of trouble both to the patient and the practitioner; and because its whole … Continue reading →
You can ask of the Lord because He will not give you a wrong answer. You can wait upon the Lord because His timing is always perfect. You can trust in the Lord because He makes no mistakes. You can … Continue reading →
Four men are in the hospital waiting room while their wives are having babies. A nurse goes up to the first guy and says, “Congratulations! You’re the father of twins.” “That’s odd,” answers the man. “I work for the Minnesota … Continue reading →
In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the king’s wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked … Continue reading →
Two men met recently and struck up a conversation. One was telling the other about some problems he was having with one of his kids. After a while the other guy said, “You think you have family problems? Get a … Continue reading →