By Russell Kelfer Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried; Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied. I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate . . . And the Master so gently said, “Wait.” “Wait? You say wait?” my indignant … Continue reading →
My boss was complaining in a staff meeting the other day that he wasn’t getting any respect. Later that morning he went out and got a small sign that read, “I’m the Boss.” He then taped it to his office … Continue reading →
We sometimes take English for granted, but if we examine its paradoxes we find that quicksand takes you down slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. There is no … Continue reading →
“Winterize your lawn,” the big sign outside the garden store commanded. I’ve fed it, watered it, mowed it, raked it and watched a lot of it die anyway. Now I’m supposed to winterize it? I hope it’s too late. Grass … Continue reading →
There were once two identical twins. They were alike in every way but one. One was a hope-filled optimist who only ever saw the bright side of life. The other was a dark pessimist, who only ever saw the down … Continue reading →
We all make mistakes and for several medical secretaries, what they typed didn’t quite explain the actual situation… Patient has left her white blood cells at another hospital. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for … Continue reading →
God won’t ask what kind of car you drove, He’ll ask how many people you drove who didn’t have transportation. God won’t ask the square footage of your house, He’ll ask how many people you welcomed into your home. God … Continue reading →
Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family. Dinner Special — Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00. For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers. Now is your chance … Continue reading →
The man was in no shape to drive, so he wisely left his car parked and walked home. As he was walking unsteadily along, he was stopped by a policeman. “What are you doing out here at 2:00 in the … Continue reading →
I asked God, “Why are you taking me through troubled water?” He replied, “Because your enemies can’t swim.”
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